Didn't Do

Here are a few things I didn't do.

*I didn't put any announcements in the paper. Saved time and money.

*I didn't have a bachelorette party. Its tacky to throw your own and no one offered. I ended up spending the day before my wedding with my best friend, my mom and her fiance. My mom bought us lunch at the Melting Pot and her fiance treated us to see Wolverine. Lots of fanboys complained about the movie, but I liked it. I'll give you three reasons: Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, in that order for me. Then after dinner, we watched Bride Wars on dvd.

*Engagement pictures. This is one of those things that are completely unnecessary to me. It's expensive enough for just the wedding pictures, but now you're adding another session? The pictures are cute but don't scream "Hi, we're about to get married."

*Save the date cards. Didn't bother. Again, something else that requires more money I didn't have. It seemed a bit redundant with the invitation and all.

*No flower girl, no ring bearer. Didn't have anyone age appropriate in the family.

*Only had one person each stand up with us. We toyed with being traditional, but decided it would be easier to coordinate with less people.

*No registry. The FH and I had lived together for almost 6 years at this point. We had everything you could think of by this point. You may argue that we could ask for better versions, however we planned to move out of state by the end of the year and wanted less things to take with us. I asked for nice cards from everyone, given the economy (Not that anyone listened - they all gave us cash to put in our moving fund.)

*No Bridal shower. I didn't need an extra party and I didn't have time to plan one.

*No rehearsal dinner. None of the party was in town when we had the rehersal, so there was no point. Also it was more money that we didn't have to spend.

*Didn't cover my tattoos. I thought about it. FH had it easy, wearing a tuxedo jacket. Not me in the strapless. I decided I wouldn't be me if I did cover them up.

*No garter/bouquet toss

The Dress Search Part Two

Disheartened after my first attempt to find a dress, I wasn't sure what to do or where to go next.

I tried looking up some local places online. But naturally only bad reviews were up.

I tried eBay. Nothing second hand jumped out at me. There were a ton from dressmakers in China who could emulate many of the popular styles, but I was unsure of spending that kind of money without getting to try the dress on first (Although I had heard many good experiences about them).

I considered going with a white/sliver Qi-pao, like this. However, I have a TON of dresses this style. Even though it would look great on me, I didn't think it would be "special" enough. It would be on my "Plan B" list.

So then I remembered the suggestion about hitting consignment stores. I made a note of a few and got their hours for the upcoming weekend.

Being the patient kind of person that I am, I decided to go to one the Amvet's near my home right then and there. They only had 3 dresses. Two looked like 1981 called and the other way too large.

I checked the time real quick and decided to make a run for their other location before they closed. As I was walking in, I noticed my maternal grandmother's car. I spotted a whole slew of wedding dresses, but wanted to make sure I said hello to my gram first.

There had to be about 30-40 brand new wedding dresses on display. Most of them were much to large for me. I managed to find one, labeled size 8, that look like it might fit.

The intercom blared out that there was 10 minutes left until close. I hurried to a dressing room and tried it on. I needed some help zipping it up and when my gram caught up to us, her eyes lit up and biasly exclaimed that I looked like Audrey Hepburn =) She then handed me the money to buy it, I just had to cover the tax and pay for it to be cleaned of the shopping cart wheel stain.

So for $40 (plus tax) and the cleaning ($35) and pressing ($20), I got a brand new Christina Wu wedding dress. I never needed to alter it, because it could not have fit any more perfect than it already did.

One of the harder parts was over.

Here are a few links for you:

preownedweddingdresses.com
budgetbridalgowns.com
woreitonce.com
weddingdressmarket.com
oncewed.com
eBay.com

Also, check your local second hand stores or consider a non-traditional wedding dress - Maybe a bridesmaid's dress or prom gown. The dress my mother wore was not a wedding one. It was a blue one, because that is her favourite colour! It was my father who wore white!

The Dress Search Part One

We've all heard the stories of the $10,000 dollar wedding dresses, right? If you're tight on money like I am, a dress costing $1000 is also a small fortune.

I didn't really start start any planning or read any books until the middle of September.

That first Saturday of the month I decided to go and look for something. I had seen David's Bridal mentioned in one of the books and my mother had brought them off. I thought "Wow, $99 for dress -what a deal"

So I go in to take a quick look. I found their $99 dress section which was abysmally small. I was looking for a halter-top style, as I felt a bare shoulder style was, well, too bare.

Having a question or two, I tracked down a salesperson. She quite rudely told me I needed an appointment.

I don't know about any of you, but I work in retail. Seeing how David's is a rather large retail chain, do you not think they would anticipate walk-in traffic, being located in plazas? Is it really that terrible to answer a couple of questions? I understand a small boutique wanting appointments, but huge chain? You think they'd have things down to a science?

I pressed her a bit and with exasperation, answered my two questions. The most helpful thing she did was shove a catalog in my hands.

I found one I mostly liked - it had a bit of a Greek goddess look to it. I went to ask someone if I could try one on in a size four. Again I got the run around about an appointment so that I could have someone. I told her I didn't need anyones help, that I just wanted one to try one very quickly in a size four.

Then she made a big deal about the dressing rooms (mind you, four were empty) and an even bigger deal that there was NO WAY I would fit a size four.

With a sigh she takes me to a corner dressing room (fine by me), brings a size four and six, and shoves a girl over to "keep an eye on me" reminding me that this poor girl is technically helping someone else with an appointment.

This girl was wonderful. She brought over a strapless bra to borrow (Ladies, if you're squicked by sharing, then be sure to bring your own! :D ). I get myself into the size four dress, have my FH zip me up, and what do you know? It fit me perfectly. The girl who was helping me gave it a thumbs up. The woman who enjoyed being queen of the store pranced by as well. She seemed at a loss when I sweetly told her how well the size four fit.

From the front, the dress was beautiful! However, when I got to look at the back, I didn't like how it fell on me. It had no shape and made me look huge!

I take it off and say I have to think on it. I get reminded to register with them and to make an appointment next time. Ok, whatever. I do so to be polite.

Shortly thereafter, my phone is getting constantly called by an 800 number. I don't know about any of you, but I don't answer my phone unless I recognize the number.

After the day they called four times w/o leaving a message, I decided to look up the number. Lo and behold, its someplace trying to sell cookware to soon-to-be brides. And how do they get these numbers? Why because David's sells their numbers. When they called again, I answered "Please Remove me from your list" before they even had a chance to say what they wanted. Oh they tried, but I just kept repeating myself until they got the hint.

After that, I did a little digging on google about David's. Oh man, the horror stories I found! It seems I wasn't the only one who experienced a lack of professionalism.

Now David's does have some good points. They are nationwide, so if your bridal party is scattered across the country, its easy to get them coordinated. Also they are hooked up with MW Tux, so its easy to get the guys in the same colours. Most of the dresses are at a reasonable price. However, where they get you is on the alterations and the accessories. Its a one stop shop, but you will pay a premium.

After all that, I decided never to set foot in a David's again. However, this put me back at square one...

Welcome!

Once upon a time (August of 2008), whilst sitting at this very desk and typing upon this very computer, my boyfriend of 8 years came into my office and hovered behind me for moments.

While looking anywhere but at me, he mumbled quietly "souhyoustillwannagetmarried?"

Being the wonderful person that I am, naturally I asked him to repeat himself and could he do so just a little bit louder?

And so with that monumental question asked, began our journey toward putting a wedding together without bankrupting us. I'd heard of horror stories of how people had put themselves in large amounts of debt for their wedding and I had no desire to end up in a similar situation.

My first step was to pick up Wedding Planning For Dummies, Second Edition
and The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner: Worksheets, Checklists, Etiquette, Calendars, and Answers to Frequently Asked Questions.

Both books give a wealth of information, but made my head swim!

The number one thing they and every wedding planning book or website stress is know your budget and to stick with it!

Only this was a bit of a problem for someone like me. I didn't want to set one without knowing a general idea of how much things. While I knew the budget would be small, I also did not want it to be unrealistic.

One of the first things I did was to sign up for The Knot website. Once you sign up they have very nice tools to help you out, including a checklist and a budget calculator.

At first glance the budget list looks huge! First thing I did was eliminated all the things that, while they would have been nice, I did not need. You must decide what is critical to your big day and what is not, otherwise it will be all too easy for the event to get out of hand.

Some of the things I eliminated from this list:

Videographer
Hotel Suite
Musicians
Limo service
Coordinator
Flower girl stuff

I was still no where close to figuring out what my budget would be, but I was starting to have a clearer idea of what I wanted.

Next Chapter: The Dress